And we’re into Episode 3. In this episode, Jeremy Clarkson talks to two old ladies, Richard Hammond makes a phone call and James May sniffs his own armpit. Spoiler alert!

McLaren MP4-12C

Jezza drove the Ferrari 458 Italia last series and he declared it one of the all-time greats. Now, it’s time for the all-British McLaren MP4-12C – a car McLaren claims is better in every way to the Ferrari. It is less expensive, more economical, more powerful and faster.  The McLaren packs a 592 hp – 3.8 twin turbo V8. 0-60 mph takes 3.1 seconds (quicker than the Ferrari) and will go all the way to 205 mph. Even with handling, the McLaren does it better thanks to its traction control. Unlike the stiffened-up supercars, the McLaren has a comfortable ride which Clarkson exhibits by sharing how cars cut corners entering the follow-through. While the McLaren seems to be better in every scientific and mathematical way, it lacks that intangible that makes Jezza go for the Ferrari –  “There’s no zing.” The lap time: 1:16.2 (2nd fastest behind the Ariel Atom V8).

News

In the news, they discuss the Chumley Pageant of Power, the the Brutus, Jaguar E-Type birthday celebration, car owners clubs, the new BMW M5, how unnecessary getting Facebook and Twitter is on car multimedia systems,  a meter-long bird feces on Jezza’s Land Rover, and flying cows.

Range Rover Evoque

James goes all the way to Nevada to test the new Posh Beckham-developed Range Rover Evoque. James attempts to get to Las Vegas through Death Valley without using real tarmac roads to pick up Cher. The Evoque, even without a separate chassis, a low-range gearbox, and a V8, gets on quite well thanks to the magnetorheological dampers. It can even do a bit of off-roading on hills and sands thanks to electronic terrain response. There’s this also interesting bit with the some high-powered dune buggies and some fantastic high-speed cameras reminiscent of the old bit they did with Ken Block. In the end, James actually picks up a Cher impersonator.

Star in a Reasonably-Priced Car: Sebastien Vettel

The old Suzuki Liana just came out of retirement with Formula One’s latest wonderboy – Red Bull Racing’s Sebastien Vettel. They talk about how Vettel used to look up to Schumi, how he names his car dirty girl names, and his love for British comedy. Quite surprisingly, the young German was pretty humble and funny unlike Lewis Hamilton who sort of had that smirky and swaggery attitude from his interview. Vettel’s lap time: 1:44.0 – fastest F1 driver ever. Benefit of the doubt, Hamilton did it with a wet track.

Best Car for Nissan Pixo Money Challenge

The Nissan Pixo is currently the cheapest new car money can buy in the UK at £6995, so Jezza and the Hamster check out what is available at the same price in the second-hand car market. And they find quite a lot – a Bentley Turbo R, a Subaru Impreza WRX, a Honda S2000, a Mazda RX-8, and a Porsche Boxster . To make a challenge, the two set out to buy the best cars for the price. Jezza gets a range-topping 9-year old, 127,000-mile Mercedes-Benz CL600 V12 with which has a television, seat massage, radar-guided cruise control. The equivalent of which in a current car is £161,000. Richard Hammond gets a 17-year old,  54,000-mile BMW 850Ci. All those for the price of a Nissan Pixo.